Courtenay Brown

Yesterday I wrote a post and then deleted it. I wrote it to let off steam, but later in the day I decided that I didn’t really want that on my blog. Now I keep getting error emails from my server saying that people keep trying to read it but it’s not there. Sorry. So, here’s something else for y’all to read instead. Yay!

I’m wrapping up a big training block. Just two more days. So is Ben. This morning he got up at 5:30 to go swim with the UH swim team distance squad. I wasn’t planning to get up til 7. But thanks to the snooze button, two necessary instances of overhead-light-switching-on, and “our” general lack of planning skills (particularly in this state of fatigue), I woke was woken up at 5:30 anyway.

“I have to pee but your brother’s in the bathroom, what should I do? Where is my towel? I can’t find my anything.” No sleeping in, thanks to the commotion. Followed by the sharp realization that I was starving. But I have been soo starving all week so what’s the big deal? Now I wish I’d gotten up and had some cereal and then gone back to bed, but instead I just laid there till 7.

Apple Banana next to a regular one

Then I got up and had a granola bar and a banana with peanut butter, grabbed a PowerGel and a water bottle with PowerBar Endurance plus Base Amino, and walked to the UH track. I thought I’d eaten plenty but by the end of the 8 minute walk, I was again soo starving. So I walked to the pool and caught Ben at the end of his swim and he gave me two apple bananas! I ate one and saved the other. Then I started my workout: ~2 miles warm-up and then 4×1200m. Nice and simple, my first track workout since August! How exciting! And I had an audience - the football team was practicing, the women’s soccer team was finishing up a run workout, and some speedy girl was coaching some speedy young guy. I went out gangbusters, I actually felt great, then I thought maybe I should check my first lap split, but maybe my watch was set to show total run time rather than split time so I didn’t bother to look, then I felt my empty stomach just about fall out of my body, I stopped feeling my arms, I realized the watch did have split time, belatedly thought “crap”, and finally finished my first 1200. 4:12. OK actually that’s not bad! Bring on the next! The sooner the better, I want to go home and eat ASAP! I jogged a lap, sipped some precious calories, longingly eyed my gel and banana, and started the second one. One lap, two laps, now I’m really starved, three laps, ugh. 4:24. Crap. I jogged a lap, sipped some precious calories, inhaled my gel, yay!, waved at the football players, and started my third. I could barely move. I just want breakfast! Screw running! But I kept going. 4:30. Crappppp. OK, “last one fast one”… that lasted for maybe half a lap! How am I supposed to run with no stomach? It’s not just EMPTY, it’s GONE! This one was agony. 4:32. Crap! But yay! It’s over! I can eat my second apple banana! And run barefoot on the astroturf!

Still, ugh. For the first time ever, I completely ascended a track workout. Not something to be proud of at all, but not something to beat myself up over unless I repeat the mistakes (not fueling right and not equipping myself to pace well - I wanted to start off running 88″ 400’s, not 84’s, my mistake meant I dwindled to 90.5’s!).

Up next were VO2 intervals on the bike. I ate a big bowl of cereal with nuts and yogurt but I got on my bike and was again instantly starving. I inhaled my bar and rapidly finished both of my water bottles, one with PowerBar Endurance + Base Amino, the other with nuun, but each interval felt like my run workout, my stomach was EMPTY and so hungry! The good news was my heart rate went up just fine, and my legs hurt just fine, so it was still a good training session, but I hustled home to get more food. I should have taken money so I could have stopped at Jamba Juice!

Up next after that was a long-for-me swim workout with a main set of 2x(5×200 descend). I had an hour between my ride and going to the pool, but by the time I got off my bike I was too hungry to eat. Nothing looked good. As a result, fueling took too long. I finally had a glass of juice (sugar! fluid!) and then decided on a snack of yogurt and apple and honey and raisins and walnuts (protein, sugar, etc). It was OK. Then I had some ahi poke (protein! onions! yummm!), which I am going to miss sooooo much when I leave Hawaii. I love poke! Then I realized I took so long hemming and hawing over food that I had run out of time to make coffee before swimming, sigh, so I found a caffeinated gel to take with me to the pool, along with yet another bottle of PowerBar Endurance + Base Amino. I’m convinced this little elixir prevented me from a complete meltdown.

Ahi Poke

The swim actually went OK. I have noticed this recently when I do swim workouts after my other training - I may feel a little tired, but I warm up much faster than I do at 5:30 a.m. and I’ve gotten decent enough at it that my form stays together for the whole workout regardless of what I’ve done beforehand. This is a nice feeling, it used to be that I had to swim first or not at all. Anyhow, unlike my run workout, this time I descended each 200 successfully, although not from the first set to the second. The first set was just barely faster than the second, I think that’s where the day’s fatigue and behind-the-eight-ball fueling came in, but it was still good and the effort was definitely there. Plus, when I did this same set a few times back in the fall, I had to start off doing the 200’s on a 4:00 sendoff. I worked up to a 3:50 sendoff but it was tiring. This time I did a 3:30 sendoff no problem. I’m getting better!!! Even though I’m tired, I’m still getting better!! Next time I’ll try them on 3:20!!

Now I’m home and eating. You name it, I’ve eaten it… papaya with ice cream instead of my usual yogurt. Ahi tuna steak. Quinoa. Half a pineapple. Cereal with whole milk. A fourth banana for the day. nuun nuun and more nuun. Salt n Vinegar Kettle Chips. Now I’m trying to figure out what option is left for dinner.

Last week I had a nightmare that I weighed 144 lbs (but was still only 5′4″). Last night, Ben had a dream that we decided he’s really fat. As long as we keep doing 25 and 30+ hour weeks, I think these fears will remain just fears rather than actualities, but still. So much eating, and sometimes it’s still not enough!