Courtenay Brown

So a couple weeks ago I went to the Ala Moana mall (which was the largest mall in america when it was built) to apply for a job at Banana Republic. Today I went in for my “group interview”.

(The only nice thing I have to say about this mall is it’s across the street from the Taigraphx office. Other than that… There are sooo many people zombieing around, and so many places just selling utter shit. I can sort of understand when there are soooo many people walking around a giant mall in, say, southern Minneapolis at the current largest mall in america. No offense to Minnesotans at all, it’s just that spending January outdoors vs. indoors there is no contest. But in Hawaii? There are a jillion things to do outside here. Or you can just lay on the beach and do nothing. Why the mall?) (Oh right, all these people have jobs and money to spend. But still!)

So there were six of us. We all walked in for this group interview, and our interviewer went on about how she has worked for the company for 19 years, it’s just wonderful, they are great to employees and the benefits are excellent.

But, by the way, these positions for which we are interviewing are part time and ineligible for benefits according to company policy. The most you can technically work per week is 19 hours, because in the state of Hawaii if you work four consecutive weeks at 20 or more hours you have to be eligible for health insurance. At BR if you pick up extra shifts and work three 20+ hour weeks in a row, on that fourth week you can’t work more than 19 in order to sidestep state-mandated healthcare provision by the company. Funny to hear this not 30 seconds after hearing about the excellent benefits.

The interview itself was fine. Your standard questions of how have you helped a customer (I teach people how to ride bikes), how do you learn new things (I know how to read), do you take kindly to constructive criticism (unless it’s totally dumb, yes), how have you helped your team or boss succeed (I know how to use craigslist), why do you want to work here (I am good at stuff – or, saying “I don’t” without actually saying “I don’t”). My fellow interviewees were also fine… There was the guy dressed all in black who used to work for Ross and a fish market and who had a cool story about the Department of Justice, the guy dressed all in khaki who worked for Sharper Image (we heard about Sharper Image a lot), the other guy dressed all in black who used to be a flight attendant and who actually seemed not dumb and not boring, the unspectacular cute girl with poor grammar (source of “like those gentlemens”) who was dressed all in blue, and the lone other person besides me who was dressed in more than one color and who also seemed cool and smart.

I’d guess at least half of us get offered a job. But, I cannot afford to get the job at Banana Republic, thanks to the dress policy we also heard about. You aren’t allowed to wear denim or casual shoes or tank tops. Dress code is “elevated”. No word on fancy spandex, the only remaining part of my wardrobe here that isn’t specifically nixed by the dress code, but I can only assume, and then further assume that I would have to go shopping before going working. So instead of an interview I am just filing this experience under “anthropological research”.